He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
