That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
