Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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