I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Randomize