Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
