no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
