sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
