I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
