Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
