put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize