i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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