Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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