I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize