based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize