I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
