make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
