He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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