just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
