YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
