fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize