she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do herpes really smell.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
