Don't you send me to vm
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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