What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
