Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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