A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
