you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize