You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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