Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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