he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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