Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
