Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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