Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
