did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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