your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
