6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think people are normalizing furries
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
