dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
