Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
