My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
