he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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