trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
