so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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