I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
