Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
