by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
