i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
you never un-have a 4some
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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