Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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