last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
