I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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