you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
