just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
