Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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