I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
