Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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