Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The air taste purple.
Randomize
