we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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