quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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