dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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