Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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