I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
