Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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