That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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