i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize