So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
