On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
