You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
