Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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