I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
