you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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