i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
