SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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