at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Screwed.edu
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize