so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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