I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
