I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
