I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
