piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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